What do you mean I have to poop in the box and then cover
it up with potpourri?
Yeah, the owners forget to mention a small detail: one of the cabins doesn’t have sewage! It does have a litter box with a toilet seat: you poop in the box, cover it with some saw-dust looking potpourri and the “caregiver” will dump it out four days later. We say “caregiver” because he neither cares, nor gives.
“Can you please clean out the box once a day?”
“No. That’s a waste of my time.”
And it turns out when they say "two rooms", they mean two sides of the same loft separated by wire railing. Privacy? Nah! What’s that hole in the bathroom wall? Well, it is where someone -- the contractor? -- drills for the vent. Whoops, 6” too high! Oh well, lets abandon that hole and drill another. Screwing the staircase to the beam? Meh… all you need is 2.5 screws instead of 8.
Yup! We are totally Solferino’ed! Whatever.
Eat Drink Sit Repeat After months of waiting, our big glamping trip is here. Matthew and Jim are joining Sheri & Larry & Coco, Paul & Barry, and us for a weekend of fun. We spend most of our first day loading and unloading the three cars… with a 3 hour drive in between. Once the unpacking is done and Assana has stopped bitching about the litter box we are ready to have fun, which includes eating and drinking, and topped off with some ass-sitting. Three car loads of food and 4 cases of wine aren’t going to eat and drink themselves.
Bum F*ck Nowhere Far Meadow cabins are located true to the name: very far… far from anything. They are 35 motion sickness-inducing minutes of winding narrow road from the closest civilization, Bass Lake, which by itself is a village in the middle of nowhere. This fact doesn’t help our lack of motivation to get off our behinds and go somewhere. Dan, Sheri, Larry and Coco end up never leaving camp for duration of our trip. Jim and Matthew make it to Yosemite Valley (and collect their stamps), but not for long. Paul, Barry, and their third-wheel Assana make it to Mariposa Grove in the southern most point of the park. Exhausted from their adventures, everyone returns to camp... in the middle of the afternoon! Let's sit around for a bit!
Pyromaniac As a matter of fact, except for one short hike off camp while trespassing into Sierra National Forest, we do very little more. That, and making massive fires, thanks to Jim-the-pyro. Being in a food coma for most of the weekend helps the sitting around part. Though, at the end, we fail ourselves: we leave with half a case of wine, a dozen remaining logs, and what appears to be more food than when we arrived.
Glamping My Ass Our accommodations might be a dud, but Sheri turns this trip into an amazing culinary experience. Our dinners range from polish lasagna to asian pork shoulder tacos with homemade tortillas and roasted corn and avocados, to Assana’s favorite, mushroom burgers with roasted carrots and almond sauce. Lunch? Roasted chicken with black chili oil on toasted Acme bread. Not to mention Larry’s amazing breakfast bacon that goes along with our frittata or pancakes. Yummm-mmy! Camping will never be the same.
Acadia Thank you Paul for organizing, Sheri for all the great food, Larry for all bacon, Jim for the fire, Matthew for the entertaining chicken talk, and Barry for fanning Assana’s “this is crap!” flame. It was a such fun weekend! Next annual group National Park destination: Acadia NP, Maine.